My Undeniable, Completely Correct Ranking of the 5 Worst Rides at Walt Disney World
It might be The Most Magical Place on Earth, but that doesn't mean all their rides have the same level of magic.
Walt Disney World is a magical place. If I could be there literally all the time, I probably would be. Let me live in the Living with the Land house, and I absolutely would. But everything at Disney World can’t be great. In fact, some aspects aren’t “great,” whether it’s disappointing restaurants or rides that aren’t as impressive as the others. Some rides make you think, “Oh, this isn’t as magical as I’d like it to be.”
I often think of WDW as the best, so I wanted to try and figure out what my absolute least favorite rides at the most magical place on Earth are. Even though these aren’t my favorite rides by any stretch, the majority of these are still rides I’d gladly go on any day. Well, except those last two. Disney should burn those to the ground and salt the land they used to be on.
Without further ado, these are my least favorite rides at Walt Disney World.
Honorable Mention - Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run
Here’s the thing: I do legitimately enjoy Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run, despite putting it as an honorable mention on this list. I think it’s a clever way to integrate some old school Star Wars into Galaxy’s Edge, and maybe I’ve just been Stockholm Syndrome’d into believing this, but I enjoy being a gunner and engineer, maybe more than being the pilot. And with a single rider line, I love that there’s at least one ride in Galaxy’s Edge that has always been a walk-on for me.
But the main problem I have with Smuggler’s Run is that I care. As a gamer, I really want to do well on this ride. I want to help Hondo Onaka get all the cargo I can, and no matter what position I’m in, I am giving Smuggler’s Run my all. If I don’t leave Smuggler’s Run borderline exhausting from pushing buttons, I’ve done a poor job.
My issue with Smuggler’s Run is that my experience on the ride is entirely dependent on the rest of my group caring as much as me, and that is rarely the case. I always find myself in a group that didn’t pay attention to the rules, or adults who just want to film the entire ride, or older ladies who are just here for the journey. No, Grandma, if you didn’t come to play, you can wait outside. I often end up having to explain what everyone should do before the ride, and on more than one occasion, I have split up the group of people I do now know into what I think each person would be best at.
There have been multiple times that I’ve done this ride back-to-back because my first experience was so bad, I needed a “good run.” I’m hoping The Mandalorian and Grogu overlay that’s coming will fix some of the issues with this ride, but I can’t imagine it’ll find a way to make the individual experience stand alone without the participation of others, which is my big problem. Look, I played this once with other adults who cared, and it felt like an entirely different ride, and I’m still chasing that high. I wish that were the normal way of things, but unfortunately, it’s an anomaly.
5. The Seas with Nemo & Friends
After acquiring Pixar in 2006, Disney really pushed to include Pixar’s major brands into the parks as soon as they possibly could. By the next year, Submarine Voyage in Disneyland was changed to Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage, and Animal Kingdom opened the stage show Finding Nemo — The Musical. At Epcot, The Living Seas was shifted into The Seas with Nemo & Friends, which included a dark ride that featured appearances from many of the characters from Finding Nemo.
The Seas with Nemo & Friends isn’t bad, it’s just underwhelming. I mean, of course, it makes sense to turn your Epcot aquarium into an aquarium with Finding Nemo theming, but it all comes off as so rushed and uneventful — even for a dark ride whose main point is for people to go, “hey, all my friends from the movie are here!” The “Clamobiles” are cute, even though they’d be reused in Under the Sea over at Magic Kingdom, and the idea of projecting Finding Nemo characters into the actual aquarium is a cool idea. But also having these characters sing the song, “In the Big Blue World,” (which will not leave your head for the rest of the day) has never really interested me. On the stage show, sure, that makes sense, but it also feels to me like Disney not knowing what to do with Pixar right out the gate, and so they tried to over Disney-fy them.
And quite frankly, I just think everything about The Seas needs an update. It would have to be really easy to add some Finding Dory characters to the projection. The building itself feels ancient, and every time I visit, my interest in exploring the aquarium sinks exponentially. I really love the idea of The Seas more than the reality, which is that it’s a cool concept in a building that has seen better days. We get it, this was an early attempt to get Pixar in the parks, but that doesn’t mean The Seas with Nemo & Friends has to stay as dated as it feels.
4. The Barnstormer
Speaking of disappointing areas, the circus addition to Fantasyland is easily my least favorite part of Magic Kingdom. I get that it’s a fun play area for kids to run around, but all I can think of every time I’m there is how much space is being used for such little return. Storybook Treats is always a stop for me, and naturally, Dumbo the Flying Elephant rules, but the rest of this section, I could truly care less about. Primary of things I couldn’t care less about is The Barnstormer.
I understand that The Barnstormer largely exists as a junior roller coaster for kids, but I swear, we need to up our expectations for what this type of training coaster can be. Between Goofy’s Sky School at Disney’s California Adventure (on which I actively heard my bones pop upon getting off it), Gadget’s Go Coaster at Disneyland, and Trolls Trollercoaster at Universal Orlando, I need roller coasters for kids to be more than just bland metal coasters that don’t do anything. That’s sort of the point, it’s to make kids not be scared to go on bigger and better rides, but I could use more theatricality, a bit more panache to these rides. Instead, they’re just lightly themed and fairly boring. And also super short, yet still has a stupid wait time whenever I’m in the area.
Again, I think this is a sign of an area that Disney needs to update (sorry, Smellephants simply aren’t enough), and I want to see what innovations Disney could make with a junior roller coaster. For some reason, I think of something like how the Aquamouse on the Disney Cruise Line uses screens before sending you down its slide. Maybe adding a little bit of a movie to the build-up of one of these rides to give you a bit more character would make me care more. But in terms of Magic Kingdom rides, this is one of the only ones I’m completely fine with skipping on every trip.
3. Journey Into Imagination with Figment
Journey into Imagination with Figment is such a dumb, disappointing ride, and Figment is annoying as hell and irritating, yet I would die for that little dragon. Journey into Imagination with Figment is the highest ride on this list that I will still ride every single time. Going on this ride for me is more of a celebration of what this could be than what it actually is. It’s almost like I want to ride this so that Disney knows people still appreciate what is left of this ride.
Journey into Imagination with Figment is the biggest “paved paradise and put up a parking lot” situation in all of Disney World. I know this iteration was originally supposed to be an upgrade of the ride before budget cuts destroyed what made this ride so special. But honestly, I refuse to watch ride-throughs of what this ride used to be like, because I don’t want to know what was taken from me. As someone who first rode this in 2017, I don’t know the details of what used to be here, and quite frankly, it’s better if I don’t know.
But one thing is for sure: everyone knows Journey into Imagination with Figment needs to be fixed in some way. Figment merchandise sells absurdly well, and Disney has basically made Figment the mascot of Epcot, putting him right at the main entrance to World Showcase. To me, Figment is a symbol of the weird Epcot that I never got to experience, a little taste of the strangeness that I’ll never know.
I have to imagine behind the scenes, Disney has come up with so many different ways to update this ride, but doesn’t want to pull the trigger. The fact that the top floor of the Imagination! pavilion is now a DVC lounge probably wouldn’t make construction any easier, and the massive success of Inside Out 2 has brought up questions as to whether those characters could be integrated into the ride. Look, I am ride or die for Figment, but I think the version that exists in this ride needs to be replaced as soon as possible. Our little purple boi deserves it.
2. Astro Orbiter
The other rides lower on this list, I will gladly ride at any time. They’re not my favorites, but I’m never mad about going on those rides. From here on out, though, these final two are rides that I actively don’t want to be on. These are rides that don’t bring any magic to my Disney experience, but rather, they make me wonder what Disney was even thinking. I would rather sit on a bench and take a quick break than go on either of these rides. The first of these monstrosities is Astro Orbiter at Magic Kingdom.
I’ve talked about my hatred for Astro Orbiter before, but it bears repeating that this is the absolute worst. There’s just no pleasant part of this experience. The waiting on the barely-shaded asphalt. Going up the longest, hottest elevator ever that only goes up one floor. The metal coffins that you have to get in for this “ride.” I dislike all of it. And then when the ride gets going, I’m holding on for dear life, afraid that one of these ships is going to snap off and catapult me into Cosmic Ray’s.
I’ve only done Astro Orbiter once, and that’s because you have so long to wait in line, you have time to reconsider the decision you’re making. If you want to get a gorgeous look at the park at night, there are better options. If you want a painful Tomorrowland ride that is awkward to get out of, you have Space Mountain. If you want to ride this exact same ride system, you can go on The Magic Carpets of Aladdin or Dumbo the Flying Elephant. Maybe I’ll give it another chance the next time I’m at Walt Disney World, but as of right now, I have no interest in trying this torment again.
1. Mission: Space
I’ve also mentioned this before in my post about Epcot, where I said I think this should burn, and I still maintain this is the best thing that could happen to Mission: Space. Going on Mission: Space is an active decision to make your day worse. This is a ride that would be too extreme for a science museum, but too intense for a theme park. Maybe the only scenario where Mission: Space should exist is at space camp. But like, not even space camp for kids. The strange space camp that adults decide to do. Basically, what I’m saying is that Mission: Space shouldn’t exist.
There are so many elements to Mission: Space that seem simply too ridiculous. This is a ride that has motion sickness bags on board. No ride should have to do this. This is a ride that has props from Mission to Mars, the 2000 Gary Sinise movie that no one remembers. This is a ride that puts you into the tightest, most compressed, nightmarish ride vehicle, shakes you, makes you feel the higher g-force of liftoff, and then asks you to go about your day and have a good time. The last time I rode it, all I had had to eat that day was a cup of Beverly and a pickle milkshake, and I have to say, that’s the worst possible scenario to go on this ride under.
I have done both the green and orange versions of this ride, and both of them leave me feeling like absolute crap. In theory, I think it’s a very cool idea, but in practice, it’s a ride that makes me wish I were dead. The fact that there’s a connected restaurant, with Space 220, is absolutely insane. Imagine wanting to eat directly before or after riding Mission: Space? That’s a recipe for disaster. As someone who never gets sick on rides, Mission: Space is the rare exception where if I go on it, I know I’m going to feel like absolute garbage.
Mission: Space is the rare example of some weird Epcot thing that I wish would become more Disney-fied. Maybe tame this sucker down even more, and make it a WALL-E ride? It’s a shame Lightyear didn’t do better, since a big chunk of that movie is about Buzz Lightyear doing launch after launch after launch, and that would be a perfect retheme. But my god, there has to be a way to keep this concept in some form without making me want to lie down for 15 minutes after. Mission: Space: the only Disney ride that makes me want to barf.